First-Hand Smoke – Actual smoking
Secondhand Smoke – Actually being exposed to first-hand smoke
Third-Hand Smoke – Residue of secondhand smoke on clothing, furniture and walls
Fourth-Hand Smoke – Sight of real people smoking outdoors or seeing a film, photograph or painting of a person(s) smoking indoors
Fifth-Hand Smoke – Seeing a building knowing for sure that people are smoking inside
Sixth-Hand Smoke – Thinking that people just might be smoking in that building and thinking you might smell it
Seventh-Hand Smoke – Even though you looked in the window and the building is absolutely empty, completely quiet and the lights are off, you can smell something and you think it might be smoke
Eighth-Hand Smoke – Speaking to or thinking about a current smoker
Ninth-Hand Smoke – Speaking to or thinking about a person who used to smoke
Tenth-Hand Smoke – Thinking of or speaking to a deceased relative who used to smoke
Nice. Actually, better than nice. Awesome. May I humbly offer the following:
Eleventh-hand smoke: Dreaming of any the above first through tenth-hand smoke situations.
Twelfth-hand smoke: Astral-projection into a room or building that contains first, second or third-hand smoke.
Thirteenth-hand smoke: Dead yet still worried about if people are smoking or whether smoke is seeping into the afterlife.
Brilliant!
Hope you don’t mind but have copied this to here:
http://cfrankdavis.wordpress.com/2013/09/19/deadly-addictions/#comment-82711
Wonderfully done, but do you know that there actually IS a case of “Tenth Hand Smoke” reported out there? I wrote about it in my “TobakkoNacht — The Antismoking Endgame several years ago and called it ODS — “Other Dimensional Smoke.” The case in question was very real: just examine the posting and where it was posted: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Paranormal-Phenomena-3278/2009/1/Smelling-Cigarette-Smoke.htm
In terms of simple thirdhand smoke, there’s also the case of a young lady named Vicki who was so convinced that she’d developed breast cancer from using an office phone that was sometimes used by a smoker after their lunch breaks that she went and had a biopsy done! See: http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=what-is-third-hand-smoke#comments
“I’m a true believer in third-hand smoke, and I’m not even a child. At work I had to share a telephone with a smoker. I developed breathing problems, had a swelling in my mouth, and also had a “suspicious” breast biopsy. I started cleaning the phone off with “Wet Ones” wipes. My swelling went away, plus my breathing problems went away. Still have to be tested again to see if my biopsy is benign, but I’m pretty optimistic.”
The placement of the post, as a response to a serious article about THS in Scientific American, adds to the general tone as an indication of its seriousness.
Crazy world the Antismokers have created out there, eh?
– MJM
14th hand- a smoker fucks your dead body and you feel like you smoke
15th hand smoke…a former smoker who now sucks their thumb or a pacifier.
14th hand smoke – Looking at somebody that’s never smoked in their entire life, but thinking that one day they might start smoking.